My doctor friend told me that I hold a lot of tension behind my right jaw. She said if I wouldn’t bite off so much that I wouldn’t have to chew as long, not to mention how my digestive issues would resolve virtually overnight. I’m quick to remind her that “she doesn’t quite understand” though. Because, as we all know, we’ve each been given a slice of life that nobody is capable of understanding, can I get an amen, friends? I mean, the ways in which I experience fear is far different than any of you, right?! Or resentment. Or ego…
I bit off a chunk the other day that was size-able, able to be controlled with the proper tongue thrusts needed for a mediocre swallow accompanied by a grimace, of course. I began to wonder that if I had more self control, in the ways that I could allow myself to “let go” as opposed to “grab on”, I may experience more freedom than fear.
Self-control isn’t always about grabbing the reins tighter. Sometimes it’s about letting them go.
Fear pervades my life, you name it and I’ll tell you of the fear that both deceptively destroys and defends me.
Perhaps I should stop cheating, stop living above humanity, or perhaps below. To consider the utility in allowing myself to gain land between my person and the idea of perfection. Not only perfection of my person, but of my circumstances. To bite off chunks, to enjoy them, but mostly, to allow myself to have the self-control to gain freedom.
Freedom from fear.
Because Freedom only comes from one thing, the absence of Fear.