The God of Jacob

There is nothing like reading through God’s response to Job (Job 38-40) to remind you of who you are and what power you actually posses. I move through life with ideas of how to sustain the power I believe I carry while protesting against anything that stands in my path. Moments and seasons in life really accentuate my unhealthy obsession with control and are a source of discouragement to my spirit.

I know from experience that in seasons of challenge, I tend to cling to old habits and as a result, often find myself in a place of despair. Longing for relief and the freedom only God gives. As I move closer and closer to meeting my third child, I have been experiencing an escalating sense of anxiety about my ability to manage life with three children, a husband, and taking care of myself… at the same time. I have been told all the cliches about taking it a day at a time, taking time for myself, to only do what needs to be done and let the rest fall where it may. Truths, perhaps — but not particularly helpful to an anxious heart. It is far too easy to get caught up in what is breaking my heart and what I am fearful of that I can easily forget that there is still a universe full of stars.

God, you robed the earth with brilliant colors, clothed the sky with clouds. You are the father of the rain and birthed the morning dew. Your wisdom makes the hawk soar and by your command the eagles rise. You are the place at which the wind starts and have carpeted the wasteland with wildflowers. You are the God of Jacob, the Ancient of Days, my morning star.

These are the truths that speak to my anxious heart, reminding me that the God who is credited for these things loves me passionately. That despite my inability to care properly for myself at times (mind/body/spirit), a tiny baby still grows within my belly with or without my own strength. That even with foolish beliefs and actions the God who designed life is zealously pursuing ME. That regardless of my ignorance, He still offers me His spirit to fight for my heart.

But moreover, He expects me to stand up and release my grip, to gird (encircle, strengthen, secure) myself in who HE is.

“Gird up thy loins, now like a man: I will demand of thee and declare thou unto me” – Job 40:7

So, while I’m not sure what led me to God’s reply to Job or that it’s intended purpose is parallel to my situation, I can say that the way in which the Spirit can simultaneously give me a glimpse of how insignificant I am all the while reminding me I am deeply valued by the single creator of the stars, astounds me.

Spirit, it is you who guides my heart. Come close. Wait for me.


2 thoughts on “The God of Jacob

  1. I so enjoy reading your blog, precious one. How you find time to put your deep thoughts into such beautifully adept phrases astounds me… and yet, I know this gift comes from the Lord. “The Lord bless you, and keep you; The Lord make His face shine on you, and be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance on you, and give you peace.” [Numbers 6:24-26]

    Like

  2. Michelle, that is so kind of you- but you’re right, it does come from the Lord. If you knew how amateur my writing style and process is, that would be even more apparent! I sit down, write, push post! ha! Far from professional. BUT, I’m thankful that it touches you and that it can be cohesive. I hope you’re doing well. There are days I wish to sit and talk with you and your mom and dad. Miss and love you all.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s