Our eyes met as you laid on my chest, 3 seconds old. Your scream was fierce, your lungs worked. As I felt your tiny fingers grasp around my thumb, I exhaled. My daughter. My little me.
I have had a strong feeling from the start that you were on my side. That you understood on some level, this whole thing. I do not know exactly what that means, but we will find out together, my sweet child.
Life so far, has proven to be quite delicate and radiant. I have already told you some pretty heavy things about life- I like that you always smile and coo in the aftermath of my tears. There is a part of me that only you see.
I fear that you will grow up too soon, that you will take on too much responsibility as a little girl. Life with Noah will surely add some differences to your childhood, but I know that once you are old enough to truly understand, you will be thankful. I am going to apologize ahead of time for those moments when I have to attend to him… for those situations where we will have to put your needs second. I will also say that I am terribly sorry for the countless times that you will be pushed, punched, and kicked (all in love, of course) from your strong, precious brother. You will have snacks taken from you, your bows tossed in the toilet, and your toys stolen from your very hands. You will sit through many doctors appointments, many, many car rides for therapy sessions, and have to listen as we force Mr. Noah to have his teeth brushed while you’re reading your favorite book (or, let’s be honest, watching TV).
Noah will teach you joy, sweet child. He will teach you what compassion truly means, and that life is not about getting new things. He will show you that fitting in is not necessary in this life. We are different, we were created for different things, little one. I believe with all of my heart that you will grow up a stronger girl and into a confident, compassionate young woman because God has placed you in this family with the best teacher, your brother. Your dad and I could teach you everything we know and it would not come near to the teaching that brother bear will give you just by existing. You are a jewel. I already have complete faith in the little girl you will become. You will touch lives. You have been called to a unique position. I could not be more proud.
I love you. My Gracie girl.